Sunday, February 27, 2005

Here I Am

Here I am...my first post from my new apt....it's weird...I drove away from Rantoul yesterday and just started crying...no idea why...just did...wasn't thinking of anything...but the tears wouldn't stop...my dad called to ask me a question and then in his own way told me he loved me by telling me not to work too hard and such...I hung the phone up...and something hit me. But it wasn't long and my tears stopped as suddenly as they started...and here I sit today. After 7 or 8 trips hauling, many hours unpacking...I'm almost settled in...although I have way more stuff than any 23 year old should need... So here I am...my first morning waking up and wondering what comes next...I feel settled here already, which is odd...it just feels right..no mysteriousness...it's home and having a roommate seems so easy and nice. It reminds me everyday that some people do like me... So here I am. When I used to say this phrase I'd usually follow it up by 'Send me' and I usually said it to God...but I'm not sure where God would send me...I've got no where to go. Maybe I'll attempt this thing we call church today...only because the church I'm looking at is in a business building...I can't walk into a church that looks like a church....maybe I won't cry all the way through the service and have people star at me...maybe I won't be embarrassed...maybe I'll find healing and love and acceptance and a smile...just maybe...

To further your read...
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=lynnard

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