Thursday, March 10, 2005

The Cliff of Spiritual Suicide

If you're looking for the explanation of why I wrote this go to http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=lynnard

I reach out, your hand so near,
But hurt inside me has taught me to fear.
Their mocking laughter, their judging smiles,
Take place in my mind, for in my shoes I wish they'd walk a mile.

The stars of night, turn into the clouds of day,
As I hear the mockers tell me to pray.
Repent of your ways or you'll eternally burn,
Then to me their backs became completely turned.

Judgement, insults, requests they lay,
But when my heart is broken, their price I pay.
Love is hidden in the darkest night,
When the moon is full it casually takes light.

It matters little that I love them so much,
It matters little because love they don't touch.
Reach deep inside the body that contains the soul,
Toss it aside, Faith has took it's undesired tole.

Without the heart that beats so deep,
I curled up inside and ignored them as I began to weep.
They sat back shaking their heads,
making excuses, and saying 'she made her own bed.'

I walk away, move forward, leaving them behind,
only to recognize that wherever I went they came to mind.
Why didn't they write, why didn't they call,
why didn't they love me when I approached the fall?

The distance created I battle to destroy,
But with every fight, with every swing that distance I employ.
I hate that you don't talk to me, or carry my burden so deep.
I hate that you don't care that my heart is worn and beat.
I hate that you don't listen when my fears go running out,
Because I'm no help to you, you ignore me even when I shout.

Damned your "Christian" ways,
they make me scared of who else you will slay.
All this has shown, I was right about you,
When I said to God that I do love you.

If love was not my soul, mind and heart,
I would care less that you tore me apart.
If love wasn't my eyes, mouth and, ears.
I'd would care less that it's your faith I fear.

So when all is lined and balanced out,
when my heart is tired and stopping the shout.
I stand still in hurt, but love fills my soul,
and I walk away never again to be apart of your role.

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