Tuesday, March 15, 2005

My New Found Salvation.....


My New Found Salvation Posted by Hello

Anyone who knows me understands that my sense of humor defines me. Lately, that just hasn't been so. I haven't laughed all that much. I cry a lot, I sleep a lot and I dream a lot. Now don't get me wrong I'm far from depressed. I function very normally, eat right, keep my apt. clean....I'm just sad...grieving. In my recent loss, I haven't been able to find my humor. I found an ability to draw and spend many hours doing that instead of cracking jokes. But this weekend...I found an old piece of me again. I saw this soap...and did no other than laugh so hard and then buy it. To get the full effect....here is the directions....

First of all it's tested and approved for all 7 deadly sins and comes in a tempting "do it again" easter lily scent and it reduces guild by 98.9% or more. Directions: 1. Bow head 2. Engage water supply. 3. Pump a generous amount of hand cleanser into palm. 4. Rub hands together religiously 5. Rinse 6. Repent.

It's funny...but all joking aside...it broke my heart too...because I actually said to my friend...maybe if I would have had this 4 months ago, I would be okay now. Now I don't honestly believe that...but I feel like real repentance wasn't good enough...so maybe since real repentance was such a joke...maybe this wouldn't be as funny. I don't really know...but a part of my brokenness seaped into the laughter I enjoyed and made me wish that living the Christian life was as easy as washing your hands with such a product. It made me long for the belief of Catholicism, that I could tell a priest and be okay...maybe it made me long for the church where a priest knows your deepest wrongs and accepts you anyway...maybe there is some truth to their idea of spiritual healing... All I know for sure is that this made me laugh and cry at the same time....

This song...well I listen to it all the time...it's by one of my new favorite bands and it's lyrics tell exactly how I feel.


Artist:
Seventh Day Slumber
Album:
Picking Up The Pieces
Song: My Struggle

Must be some mistake
'Cause I'm not worth the price you paid.
With every passing hour
I convince myself that you saw something in me.
But I can hear them still,
As the whispers laced with hatred fill the room.
Guess I'm wasting my time
How could you love a man like me?

Lord I need your strength
'Cause I am weak and falling to my knees.
Who is on my side?
'Cause I can't tell my friends from enemies.
Filling up with pain.
Bitterness controls the air I breathe.
What am I fighting for?
Do you have a plan for me?

Must be some mistake
'Cause I'm not worth the price you paid.
With every passing hour,
I convince myself that you saw something in me.
But I can hear them still,
As the whispers laced with hatred fill the room.
Guess I'm wasting my time
How could you love a man like me?

Must be some mistake.
'Cause I'm not worth the price you paid.

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