Saturday, April 16, 2005

Future Prospects...Social Work

So life seems to be crazy lately. My heart is completely broken for my friend who looks at the real possiblity of jail time...for my other friend who begins chemo on Monday...and for pure confusion. Yet I find myself ever thankful for my new pastor who never hesitates to let me know that he is God's hands and feet and when I can't see God in my life...he's there telling me...God's there.

In the past two weeks it seems as if I have a dating prospect. I'm not certain really because I'm so stupid when it comes to dating...I can't pick up a hint to save my soul...my roomie would agree completely as she was the one to say...he likes you Lynn...hmm...I'm dumb. But I'm still not certain. We've been friends forever, therefore making it different to even think about it...but my mom offers her famous words...friendship make the best relationships...let it run it's course. Donna tells me I'm scared of stability...boy is she right. I've never really had much of it in my life...therefore making change way more acceptable to me.

To be honest there is that beauty in having that someone there...but I've never had much luck with this and I just don't want to get into something that will hurt me in the end. I personally am so sick of the dating game. I have no inherent interest in it any longer.

So with this on top of everything...I seem to have came to the breaking point of lifting my hands to the sky and saying come on God!

Still trying to figure out how to come up with 1200 dollars by the 29th...i love this lady and refuse to see her in jail...but even greater...for the sake of her beautiful children who made me smile so much over the past few years...granted if they were adopted...that placement would have been so much better...but that was ruined..and dad's a complete jackass...whose neglectful..these kids need their mother...and if I can't give them their mother...why even bother doing social work...don't worry G and D...I'll make it happen....come on God...this one isn't for me!

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